The past is gonna be the future again

So here we are. All the results declared, counselling due, but still not expected to get through a good college staraightaway. The situation I dreaded the most is upon me and here's the reason why..

IIT JEE: not qualified(ouch..ouch..ouch)
AIEEE:26210(AIR)..wtf
UPSEE:2706
NTU and NUS:Better leave the chinkis alone. Rejection in both(did someone whisper salt on the wounds!)
Boards:87.4%..who cares anyway!

As it is not difficult to fathom, the current scene isn't very good. I never try to think about the amount of work I put in. That'll be a reaction and what I need is a solution, for the current crisis. After giving everything a good and a long thought, I have made up my mind to repeat this year. As usual, everyone has a different say on this. Some think that it is akin to wasting an year while others hold more comforting views. There's no denying that it is indeed a gamble of sorts, moreso for the people here in Roorkee, who think that dropping an year is like commiting harakiri :) People and their thoughts..

I did some soul searching to find out whether this is the thing I really wanted. The sort of things they show in movies. But movies especially the Hindi ones are a refugee from reality.Hardly anything in life is ideal, atleast in mine! Ok, I love to think about becoming a columnist or joining the Civil Services, but first, can I have a safe backup please! Then maybe one day, I'll think about jumping in the idealistic world and as they say, spread my wings!(I know I am exaggerating)

The thing is, no one drops because he wants to, its because he needs to(I'm referring to only the engineering aspirants here). And I think I seriously need to give it another go to be completely satisfied with myself. I never want my mind to fill up with vestiges of regret while I pursue my undergraduate studies. Regret of not having tried another year. The sort of feeling which might creep up, when I will sometime, inevitably, be dissatisfied with my surroundings. When I finally go to some college next year, I'll know in my mind that this is where I was meant to be. Having a clear mind without any interfering thoughts works wonders.

28th June, hot afternoon, Dehradun-Bandra Express. The cycle starts all over again. The tagline of my friend Arpit Tuli, in his orkut profile couldn't be more congruous:
"The past is gonna be the future again."
God save me! Bansal Classes, here I come...