Heading Towards A Land Unknown

The calendar reads 29 Feb 2008, which is, by all means and probabilities, the eve before the board exams 2008. The usual calls of the well wishers and not-so-well wishers came to wish luck. The willingness of anybody, who catches u in his/her vicinity(or sometimes forcibly, ouch....) to wish u luck on this particular day fills me with a sense of deja-vu. Only two years ago, did I find myself in the same situation as of now, with all and sundry(including my housemaid) happily showering their best wishes upon me. Honestly, it took me by surprise the first time. Afterall I had given all sorts of exams: quarterlies, pre-boards, 2- pre boards et all, minus all the hype, so this was a first for me. It was like suddenly being pushed into the limelight, when all you think, that tomorrow is just just gonna be one of those days. I sympathize with those who are not well prepared, because all this commotion can be very unnerving at times.
I've been in my own cocoon, since I came back, so this time around, I'm relatively shielded against the "count-down" mania. Shielded, unfortunately, not immune. I'm very confident about my preaparations, but I still see Boards as a distraction towards my main goal. There is a great need to put everything together in the approaching months before the D-day, and Boards are not quite allowing me to do that. Can't afford to complain about this though, because everybody(if you are not a dropper that is) have to face this.
Tomorrow will flag off a series of events(exams if you may) that will charter the future course of my life to a great extent. I've tried to not to think about the things at stake. That'll only lead to self-destruction, an art I mastered at my time at Bansals. Hopefully, my next post would be about how well I did in Chemistry.
With my family, and a few good men by my side, I head, towards a land unknown.........

You Are From IIT ROORKEE!!!!!

Is what most of the people(with eyes popping out and mouth half open) would say, after reading my id card, utterly shocked at seeing the offspring of an IIT professor, at the premises of Bansal Classes. I don't blame them, because the place really eats, sleeps and drinks IIT and even the slightest(or the most irrelevant) of the mentions of the place is sure to draw rapt attention from anyone who is in near vicinity. I had always prided myself in being the son of an IIT prof, interestingly for all the non-acaedamic reasons: free access to the internet, tennis courts, swimming pool, free passes to rocknites et all, were enough to make the life of a high school student heavenly!!!

Asking someone's place of origin is mostly how the conversations start for new acquaintances at Bansal Classes. Although, some bolder ones, or perennial prodigies(can't really blame them) normally begin and end conversations with Batch nos. Some examples:

A batch..hey mate my name is falaana dhimkaana...

B batch...oh(wondering how come HE ran into you and slightly distancing himself) hi..(and then a second later)...bye..(call it discrimination in the era of tolerance)...

C and D batch...(face contorting into various unpleasant shapes and sizes)..What the hell are you doing here???

Ok guys, I might be stretching this thing a little bit, but invariably, you are judged by the batch you are in. Having spent most of my time in low B's and high C's, i often ended up at the receiving side, the saving grace being the fact, that I was born into a temple Of Science and Technology. Some would even ask what was the need for me to come here. "Apne Papa aur unke prof friends se phadh leta". Preconceived notions about the demi god status of IIT, and Bansalites go hand in hand...

Coming back to the original matter, initially I was taken aback and even perturbed at these reactions, but as time went on, it finally sunk in that the tag of the "IIT professor's son", would remain for the complete sojourn, right uptill 6 Jan 2008. In some ways, it also served as an extra motivation to perform better, and constantly outdo my peers at BC, but the owing to the "tag" I couldn't really establish my own persona. Exception being the last few months in B-6, where no one really knew from where I was, and I built a well deserved reputation for my knowledge in Inorganic Chemistry:)...Too little, but not too late....
This experience made me appreciate the place of my birth more and thankfully not on the account of the hollow principles of previous years. Now I have a solid backing for my reason.
For once I think I have got my bearings right. Hope this is a good omen, as I can't afford to put a foot wrong in the coming months..
Will be back when time permits...

Lost In Transition??

No, no..I'm not a Scarlett Johannson(did i spell it right??) fan, who was floored by her acting in the film. Its just a way that I have been feeling, ever since I shifted base from 1-GHA-5 Vigyan Nagar, Kota to D-13 Hill View Apartments, IIT R. Yes, somewhere lost b/w that oily food of caliber mess and the delicacies prepared by my mum...somewhere lost b/w the cold and ungrateful corridors of these majestic apartments and the ruckus the 4 of us (Pranjul, Prateek, Nitin and yours truely) would create in the middle of the night and beyond. I don't think that I miss kota that much, coz we never did such things there, that would linger in the memory for long. Like Suvir uncle had aptly said, it was akin to a train journey. U catch it, coz u want to reach a destination, make friends on the way, and get down..no sentimental attachments. That's how Kota was like. Never provided moments, that would make me jump with joy, no moments of pure ecstacy. Instead, it hit me where it hurt the most. Logic, concepts, anti-mugging groups..never thought one would study like that....

In hinsight though, I would have gone nowhere, had i stayed back at Roorkee. Especially, with my style of study, and no one to correct it, kick me on the hindside(not literally, but still....) and tell me where i stood. Kota, and Bansal Classes, did that. That's why I'll forever be indebted to that place, no matter in which college i end up studying in.

It was not a journey of self-discovery, instead it was a journey which conveyed how I should be, in order to get what i want to. To sum it up though, Kota was like a friend who would never provide me with unnecessary happiness(stood 1st in the class son..lets party!!), infact mellowed me down. Made my swagger bite the dust. For good reasons people. For my betterment..



And now, as i sit down in the evening, to type this, nothing seems to be the way it was 2 years back. The "friends"(most of them), who made filmy promises are all gone. There's a unusual sense of calmness that pervades now, and mix it up with the biting cold, and u get a combination, which has made my mind dizzy, but fully aware of what i need to achieve, to make the sacrifice worthwile...

Lost in transition? Certainly. But thanks to the "train journey", I am hopeful, of ending up somewhere.....

Cold beginnings

Here we are then. Earlier than I had previously hoped..(a sign of fading willpower?? I sincerely hope its not.), but i sort of succumbed to the circumstances. I just wanted a place where i could write on to my heart's extent, coz i was never the sort of a person who would vent his feelings openly. Even in front of my parents...
This a typically cold jan night, and the most crucial phase of my life is ahead of me, but why is a feeling of insecurity engulfing every fibre of my being??

Better leave these open ended questions, for the times ahead. Gotta sign off for now. Got "differentiability" to tackle...

Will keep posting, coz this indeed is my saviour. Hope to write more about me and my life in the posts ahead.....